In Honor of Gammi

(Gammi when she was little)

I lost my Gammi this week. Gammi is my grandmother's nickname given her by her grandchildren. She died at the age of 93 and she lived a great life. She's been released of the great physical pain that she suffered for the last few weeks.

(Gammi as a young hottie)

Gammi was a bright shiny person that always made people feel special. I was talking to my Mom today and she said that Gammi's accountant told her that he felt like he had a special relationship with Gammi. Mom reflected that most people that knew Gammi had a special relationship with her. This is profoundly true. Mom said that in the last few days her phone has been ringing off the hook by people calling to find out when her memorial service will be so they can honor her life.

(Gammi with baby great granddaughter Lainey)

Gammi was the kind of person that always remembered you and could recall things about you that let you know that she thought about you and that she cared. Although she lived far away from me for the majority of my life she always remembered all my friend's names and asked about them when we talked on the phone or visited. Even in the last few years as her memory became less sharp she remembered what I was doing and the important people in my life.

(Gammi with great grandson Chip)

When you spent time with Gammi she was always really with you. She was present and she had presence with you as very few people do. I think the reason she was able to do this was that she lived her life in a way that allowed her to live without unnecessary worries. She worked hard, stayed on top of her business/financial affairs, invested in her spiritual life, and nurtured the many varied relationships that she had. When she was with you she wasn't distracted with the worries that many of us carry in our minds, she was focused on you and how she could have a good time with you.

(Gammi and 3rd husband John Waddell just after John got out of the hospital)

Gammi outlived four husbands and was a tireless caretaker and mate. I didn't know my grandfather, but I knew her next three husbands and they all adored her. She was the kind of person to put other's needs before hers, but also to command your respect and make sure her needs were met too. I would say she had very healthy boundaries with the people in her life. Gammi was a big believer in charity. She spent many days in her retirement years involved in her church and helping sick people, visiting widows, and bringing food to people that needed help.

(Gammi and John in St. George visiting me while I was a missionary)

I can't imagine a better grandmother than my Gammi. She was endlessly thrilled with us as kids. She spent countless hours with us doing what we wanted to do and she loved it. She always had great ideas of fun things to do with us and she understood us in a way that made us feel safe and special when we were with her.

(Gammi with her last husband, the great love of her life, Warren "Bud" Robinson)

One of my earliest memories of Gammi was when I was 6 or 7 years old and she came out to visit us in Herkimer, NY. She left her makeup bag in the bathroom and I was looking through it to see what I could find. I decided to try her lipstick on because I thought it must feel really nice since Gammi wore it. Not understanding the fragile nature of lipstick I pressed it on and mushed it up in the process. My Mom's instinct must have told her I was in trouble because she suddenly turned up and was really angry with me for getting into Gammi's stuff and ruining her lipstick. She told me to go to Gammi and confess and apologize to her. I was in tears and mortified that I had done something bad to Gammi. She took one look at me and made her little "pssh" laugh sound and giggled at me with lipstick mashed into my face. She gave me a warm hug and told me she wasn't mad and that the lipstick wasn't important to her. She understood my curiosity and got a laugh out of it instead of getting upset. I knew she loved me a lot.

(Gammi and Bud visit Dee Dee on her mission)

(Gammi and John at Amy's high school graduation)

A few years later I got to spend most of the summer with her at her house in Kansas City, MO. I was so excited to be able to spend the time with her at her magical house. That summer was the happiest time of my childhood. The time with her was golden, every day filled with fun times, awesome home cooked meals (with lots of snacks in between), and plenty of time for us to get to know each other. We established a routine of getting up early and working in her yard before the heat kicked in, having a huge breakfast, and then going out somewhere for the day to explore all of the wonders of Kansas City. Some days we went swimming at the pool, some days we'd go to a museum, and she even provided me with my own Willie Wonka experience when we went on a tour of the Hostess factory where I saw how they made the junk food treats I loved and got fresh Twinkies right off the line!

(Picture I took of Gammi with my 1st camera in 1980 in Herkimer)

One of the best memories I have of that summer was playing office with my cousin Jennifer. Gammi's husband had his old business office in their basement complete with stationary, a big ox blood office chair, a big wooden desk, typewriters, and one of those old school adding machines with the big crank on the side. We spent hours writing memos, taking pretend orders on the big heavy black phones, and taking turns being the boss and the secretary. We'd take our lunch break on Gammi's patio where we'd eat all the watermelon slices we wanted and drink iced sun tea that was sweet and refreshing. After a hard day's work at the office we'd have dinner and play cards for hours. It was a care-free imagination fest that I wished would never end.

(Gammi and Mom in 1995)

As I grew into adulthood there were trips to visit Gammi where she would pay for me to go to the dinner theater or take me to the art museum. It never mattered what we did as much as the personal attention that she always gave me. She knew the food that I liked and always made everything taste so good. I'd always gain a few pounds on a trip there.

(Gammi and John with me in front of the St. George temple in 1991)

One of the few regrets I have about Gammi's passing is that she won't be alive to see me get my Master's degree. I credit her for me being able to make it this far in my education because she helped me financially a couple of times when I wouldn't have been able to do it on my own. Through my ups and downs in life I knew that Gammi always believed in me and that she was always behind me. I never felt judged by her even in my toughest times and she always gave me unconditional love during my struggles.

(Gammi with great grandchildren Alyssa, Savannah, & Gavin this past summer)

(My last visit with Gammi while she was in physical rehab, summer 2009. Dee Dee, Jared, Pete, Alyssa, Savannah, Laramie, & Gavin)

It's been difficult to see Gammi's health deteriorate these last few years, but she's always been a fighter and kept a bright attitude through pain and sickness. Gammi is one of the most complete people I've ever known and I'm so grateful that she showed me how to live a joyful life. She will be missed by many people and the memory of who she was will always be with me. My hope is that I can reflect back on my life with happiness and satisfaction the way Gammi did.