Next Round of Ultrasounds

For those of you that haven't heard yet; it's a boy! His name will be Everette Mercer Bryant and he was due on 7/21/10.... so anytime now!

This lady is about over it and we are pulling out all the stops (the natural ones anyway) to get things going.

1st Baby Pics 13&1/2 weeks

Believe it or not I'm about to become a full fledged grown up! Very excited & can't wait to find out the sex!!!

RA doesn't believe me, but this baby definitely has the Bryant nose :)

In Honor of Gammi

(Gammi when she was little)

I lost my Gammi this week. Gammi is my grandmother's nickname given her by her grandchildren. She died at the age of 93 and she lived a great life. She's been released of the great physical pain that she suffered for the last few weeks.

(Gammi as a young hottie)

Gammi was a bright shiny person that always made people feel special. I was talking to my Mom today and she said that Gammi's accountant told her that he felt like he had a special relationship with Gammi. Mom reflected that most people that knew Gammi had a special relationship with her. This is profoundly true. Mom said that in the last few days her phone has been ringing off the hook by people calling to find out when her memorial service will be so they can honor her life.

(Gammi with baby great granddaughter Lainey)

Gammi was the kind of person that always remembered you and could recall things about you that let you know that she thought about you and that she cared. Although she lived far away from me for the majority of my life she always remembered all my friend's names and asked about them when we talked on the phone or visited. Even in the last few years as her memory became less sharp she remembered what I was doing and the important people in my life.

(Gammi with great grandson Chip)

When you spent time with Gammi she was always really with you. She was present and she had presence with you as very few people do. I think the reason she was able to do this was that she lived her life in a way that allowed her to live without unnecessary worries. She worked hard, stayed on top of her business/financial affairs, invested in her spiritual life, and nurtured the many varied relationships that she had. When she was with you she wasn't distracted with the worries that many of us carry in our minds, she was focused on you and how she could have a good time with you.

(Gammi and 3rd husband John Waddell just after John got out of the hospital)

Gammi outlived four husbands and was a tireless caretaker and mate. I didn't know my grandfather, but I knew her next three husbands and they all adored her. She was the kind of person to put other's needs before hers, but also to command your respect and make sure her needs were met too. I would say she had very healthy boundaries with the people in her life. Gammi was a big believer in charity. She spent many days in her retirement years involved in her church and helping sick people, visiting widows, and bringing food to people that needed help.

(Gammi and John in St. George visiting me while I was a missionary)

I can't imagine a better grandmother than my Gammi. She was endlessly thrilled with us as kids. She spent countless hours with us doing what we wanted to do and she loved it. She always had great ideas of fun things to do with us and she understood us in a way that made us feel safe and special when we were with her.

(Gammi with her last husband, the great love of her life, Warren "Bud" Robinson)

One of my earliest memories of Gammi was when I was 6 or 7 years old and she came out to visit us in Herkimer, NY. She left her makeup bag in the bathroom and I was looking through it to see what I could find. I decided to try her lipstick on because I thought it must feel really nice since Gammi wore it. Not understanding the fragile nature of lipstick I pressed it on and mushed it up in the process. My Mom's instinct must have told her I was in trouble because she suddenly turned up and was really angry with me for getting into Gammi's stuff and ruining her lipstick. She told me to go to Gammi and confess and apologize to her. I was in tears and mortified that I had done something bad to Gammi. She took one look at me and made her little "pssh" laugh sound and giggled at me with lipstick mashed into my face. She gave me a warm hug and told me she wasn't mad and that the lipstick wasn't important to her. She understood my curiosity and got a laugh out of it instead of getting upset. I knew she loved me a lot.

(Gammi and Bud visit Dee Dee on her mission)

(Gammi and John at Amy's high school graduation)

A few years later I got to spend most of the summer with her at her house in Kansas City, MO. I was so excited to be able to spend the time with her at her magical house. That summer was the happiest time of my childhood. The time with her was golden, every day filled with fun times, awesome home cooked meals (with lots of snacks in between), and plenty of time for us to get to know each other. We established a routine of getting up early and working in her yard before the heat kicked in, having a huge breakfast, and then going out somewhere for the day to explore all of the wonders of Kansas City. Some days we went swimming at the pool, some days we'd go to a museum, and she even provided me with my own Willie Wonka experience when we went on a tour of the Hostess factory where I saw how they made the junk food treats I loved and got fresh Twinkies right off the line!

(Picture I took of Gammi with my 1st camera in 1980 in Herkimer)

One of the best memories I have of that summer was playing office with my cousin Jennifer. Gammi's husband had his old business office in their basement complete with stationary, a big ox blood office chair, a big wooden desk, typewriters, and one of those old school adding machines with the big crank on the side. We spent hours writing memos, taking pretend orders on the big heavy black phones, and taking turns being the boss and the secretary. We'd take our lunch break on Gammi's patio where we'd eat all the watermelon slices we wanted and drink iced sun tea that was sweet and refreshing. After a hard day's work at the office we'd have dinner and play cards for hours. It was a care-free imagination fest that I wished would never end.

(Gammi and Mom in 1995)

As I grew into adulthood there were trips to visit Gammi where she would pay for me to go to the dinner theater or take me to the art museum. It never mattered what we did as much as the personal attention that she always gave me. She knew the food that I liked and always made everything taste so good. I'd always gain a few pounds on a trip there.

(Gammi and John with me in front of the St. George temple in 1991)

One of the few regrets I have about Gammi's passing is that she won't be alive to see me get my Master's degree. I credit her for me being able to make it this far in my education because she helped me financially a couple of times when I wouldn't have been able to do it on my own. Through my ups and downs in life I knew that Gammi always believed in me and that she was always behind me. I never felt judged by her even in my toughest times and she always gave me unconditional love during my struggles.

(Gammi with great grandchildren Alyssa, Savannah, & Gavin this past summer)

(My last visit with Gammi while she was in physical rehab, summer 2009. Dee Dee, Jared, Pete, Alyssa, Savannah, Laramie, & Gavin)

It's been difficult to see Gammi's health deteriorate these last few years, but she's always been a fighter and kept a bright attitude through pain and sickness. Gammi is one of the most complete people I've ever known and I'm so grateful that she showed me how to live a joyful life. She will be missed by many people and the memory of who she was will always be with me. My hope is that I can reflect back on my life with happiness and satisfaction the way Gammi did.

Pictures and Memories of Uncle Charles

These two pictures are from our last visit over the Christmas holiday.

These two pictures are from the early nineties. I was picking up Gammi's Dodge Rampage from Charles. He had just repainted it; that little truck got me around for quite a few years!

I liked this picture of Mom and Charles. Charles looked a little naked without his beard.

Pete and Charles out on "the shooting range" on the land behind Charles' place in AZ.

At Gammi's house a few years ago.

Pizza and beer at the casino a few years ago.

Tribute to Charles Douglas 11/07/1938 to 1/28/09

My uncle Charles passed away on Wed night at about 7:30 after a 3 month battle with stomach cancer. He passed into peace, relieved from a painful condition that took him quickly. His two daughters Jennifer and Laramie were with him as he passed on and he was able to visit with all of his grandchildren and close relatives in the past few months. I got to see him over the holidays and I’m so glad that I got to visit with him one last time.

I’ll miss my Uncle Charles. I didn’t see him very often and I wouldn’t say that we were especially close. However, he was an important presence in my life and I’d like to describe why.

My Dad and I always had trouble connecting; we disagreed a lot when I was growing up, and I think because our personalities are very different I never saw him as my male role model. My Dad’s a good man and I inherited many good qualities from him, but I always related more to my Uncle Charles’ personality. Where my Dad the accountant was careful and calculating, Uncle Charles could be impulsive and rash. My Uncle Charles was a live-in-the-moment kind of guy that was a bit of a thrill seeker; especially when it came to fast machines. He loved to tease people and sometimes he’d get a twinkle in his bright blue eyes and flash a smile through his bushy beard that let you know he was up to some shenanigans.

When I was a little guy I think I was kind of scared of my Uncle because he was tall and had a big beard. He could be abrupt and he has never enjoyed being around the noise and racket that young children produce. Despite all that, I could always sense that he liked me, probably because I was the first boy born in our family. When I was about 3 years old he let me drive a kid-size battery powered Model T car at his house; I think that was when my love affair with machines and my bond with him began.

When I was growing up, my family moved around a lot, but we always came back to our home base in Kansas City, MO where my Uncle and my grandma (Gammi) lived. There was one trip back where we went to Kansas City for the first time in quite a few years; I think I was about 10 or 11. We flew in and as we got off the plane there was this familiar looking guy standing in the jet bridge just outside the door of the plane. He was looking right at me and had a huge smile on his face, and said “Hi Paul!” It had been so long that I didn’t recognize my Uncle, but after he said my name I figured it out. He worked for the airlines and had gotten on to the jet bridge to surprise us as we got off our plane. I’ll always remember that greeting because it made me feel really good that he was excited enough to see us that he went to the trouble of figuring out where we would be so he could surprise us. He had a way of lighting up whenever I’d see him that let me know he was always really happy to see me.

My Uncle Charles was a guy’s guy. He had a great love of wide open spaces, fast cars, and motorcycles. As a kid growing up he seemed like a real life version of Clint Eastwood, Steve McQueen, and Peter Fonda all wrapped up in one. He drove everywhere like it was a race, was a pretty good shot with a gun, and could ride for days at a time on a motorcycle. I remember going down into his basement lair once where all his cool guy stuff was and looking at his movie collection. I think he owned every action movie ever made. Right next to that room was his garage where his 69 Camaro sat. He’d blown the engine in a drag race when it was new and it had basically sat ever since. As a teenage boy I dreamed about cars like that, and I always hoped that someday he’d bring it back to life and let me drive it. The car has become his teenage grandson’s now, and hopefully he’ll get it going. Besides the Camaro his garage was always full of motorcycles. Charles loved to ride motorcycles; he rode pretty much every day, even in the harsh Kansas City winters. He had different bikes for commuting and long trips and I was always in awe of all the metal and chrome in his garage.

One time not long after he had bought his BMW touring bike, he came to Gammi’s house for dinner. I remember he asked me to come into the driveway to see his new bike. My Mom protested, but nothing could have kept me from going to see his bike. He saw the look of true love in my eyes as I looked at the bike and he asked me if I wanted to get on it. I think I was 13 or 14, maybe younger, I remember I was still pretty small, but I wanted to know what it felt like to be on that machine. As I mounted the bike he said, “Now don’t drop my new bike, and watch out, it’s heavy as hell.” I took it off the kickstand and held it as straight as I could, my skinny arms trembling at the weight. I was terrified of dropping it over and pissing him off, but at the same time the feel of those grips in my hands and the seat under me was a thrill; I knew I’d ride a motorcycle someday. I came back in the house talking about motorcycles and my Mom was not happy. Well, thanks to Charles I’ve been riding motorcycles for 17 years now, and Mom, I’m not dead or crippled yet!

In his younger years he was in the military in Germany, and he dragged muscle cars. His experiences provided plenty of grist for stories, which he was full of; he loved to tell stories. He could tell you stories for hours and he never seemed to run out of them. The fun part was that he was a dang good story teller and he could actually keep you entertained for hours!
One of my favorite things about my Uncle was how fired up he got about things when you talked to him. Pete (my brother) and I loved to drink beer with him and talk to him about how to solve the world’s problems. After quite a few of these conversations over the years I realized that he had two favorite solutions that would pretty much always ended the conversation:

1. Line the SOB’s up and shoot em all!
2. Nuke the whole damn place and blow it off the map!

He wasn’t actually a raging maniac, but sometimes he talked like it. Charles was actually a pretty gentle guy at heart. He’d do anything to help you out if you needed it. He’s helped me many times with vehicle repairs, and he was a great teacher. When he showed me how to do things he was always very patient and kind. I’m not the most mechanical person but he would go through explaining how to fix my motorcycle without ever getting irritated with me even when I asked the same questions a few times.

A few years ago my uncle moved out into the desert with his friends Mark and Joyce. He started out in a little camper trailer and moved up to a single wide trailer that he has slowly transformed into a nice little home. He had plenty of things to fix and tinker with out there and plenty of space to shoot his guns. I always enjoyed visiting with him out there.

I witnessed my uncle’s competitive side once when I came out to visit him on my motorcycle. I had an 85 Magna 700 and at the time he was riding Laramie’s old Vulcan that was about the same size and age as my bike. We decided that we should compare the two bikes by drag racing them so we went out onto the long straight road near his place and raced. The Magna was built for racing and I easily beat him. We got to the end and he shook his head, looked at his bike like there was something wrong with it, tinkered with it a little, and told me he wanted to go again. I easily won again. He wanted to go again. And again. And again. After the last time he drove back to his place without saying anything. I pulled in after him and he just shook his head and said, “fast bike.” We didn’t talk about the race after that, I think he was a little sore about it.

One thing we loved to do was to shoot guns together. It became a tradition by the time I was a teenager and we would go shoot almost every time I saw him. He always explained everything about the weapons we’d shoot and we were always very careful about it. There was something very cathartic about shooting with him and we could do it for hours sometimes, or until we ran out of ammo or bottles to shoot at.

Charles wasn’t big on sharing feelings with me, but there was one time when I experienced his softer side that I’ll always remember. I had just gone through my first divorce and was out in Kansas City for a visit. He was in the process of getting ready to move out to NV and leave his wife of many years, and we had a heart to heart about women while we were going for a ride in his truck. I remember being kind of shocked because he got emotional, but it helped me because I was really struggling at the time and he was able to empathize with me. He could be tough and crusty, but he could be sensitive too. I saw his soft side come out whenever he talked about his daughters or his grandkids; I know that he was fiercely proud of his family.

I’m not a religious guy, but I imagine if there’s a heaven after this that Charles is up there riding a machine that’s faster than anything that ever existed on earth, and trading stories with his uncles.

So, Uncle Charlie, goodbye, I’ll miss you.

Some More Thoughts On Homosexuality

Although I'm not going to resurrect my post on gay marriage I do have some more to say about homosexuality.

Thank you Skye for your recent comment on my original gay marriage post; it got me thinking about this again. You can read Skye's comment here: https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=16918635&postID=8589953684021295446

You raise an important point that I didn't really address, Skye. Alfred Kinsey, entomologist, zoologist, and the pioneer of sex research said:

"Males do not represent two discrete populations, heterosexual and homosexual. The world is not to be divided into sheep and goats. Not all things are black nor all things white. It is a fundamental of taxonomy that nature rarely deals with discrete categories. Only the human mind invents categories and tries to force facts into separated pigeon-holes. The living world is a continuum in each and every one of its aspects. The sooner we learn this concerning human sexual behavior, the sooner we shall reach a sound understanding of the realities of sex" (Sexual Behavior in the Human Male, 1948, p.639).

I believe that Kinsey was right on the mark. Sexuality exists on a continuum and the people that are closer to the center of that continuum may have more choices in their attraction than those of us that are on one end or the other. I completely agree with you that we can only respect people's choices, and it's pointless to try to second guess their experience.

I agree that the main point of the discussion shouldn't be "which one" is the cause of homosexuality. The real discussion in my mind is the discriminatory treatment of any group that's different from the majority. A better discussion could also be focused on how we view human sexuality in general, looking at it cross-culturally, and understanding that many of the taboos and hang-ups around it are unnecessary, and founded on the particular view of our culture. I would rather discuss ways to honor human sexuality instead of the dichotomous way in which we view it in American culture as either a careless pleasure, or puritanically restricted.

Unfortunately the "which one" question is an important part of the discussion because of the prevalent ignorance based on dogmatic beliefs that focus on showing that homosexuals are sinful and should make a different choice in their preferences. It is my opinion that if the majority of Americans were well educated in science in general, and in the research at hand about homosexuality, the controversy would cease to exist. There have been many other controversial issues where scientific evidence eventually overwhelmed the dogma and as a result mainstream opinion adjusted.

I think that the pursuit of knowledge in this area is very important and that sharing it with others is even more important. I do believe that there is a biological basis for sexual preferences. I'm not saying there aren't any environmental factors at all, just that there is no evidence to support a hypothesis based solely on environmental factors. There is evidence to support biological hypotheses and I believe that we dispel some of the misconceptions of homosexuality by understanding those factors.

Much of the research into the causes of sexual preferences points to exposure levels of androgens in the prenatal state. These hormonal levels may predict a person's position on the sexual continuum. This article in Slate discusses the implications of being able to manipulate those hormone levels, and how homosexuality could possibly be screened out of existence: http://www.slate.com/id/2193841/. The article also references nascent research into the structure of the homosexual brain that shows that a male homosexual's brain is structured more like a heterosexual woman's and vice-versa. You can read more about that here: http://articles.latimes.com/2008/jun/17/science/sci-gaybrain17.

This is one of the most fascinating inquiries of our age, going to the very core of the human experience. I don't know that it will be completely settled in my lifetime, and I hope that we don't get to a place where people would prenatally screen their offspring for homosexuality. I do hope that the research at least creates enough ambiguity surrounding the issue to convince people to reserve judgment and respect people's sexual preferences as long as they don't involve predation.

The Story of the Third Post on Gay Marriage & Winter Break

After spending about 10 hours on Part III of my series on gay marriage my computer crashed corrupting the document that I had typed the post on, leaving me an exhausted mess. I decided to abandon it rather than try to resurrect my amazing piece of work. Hah! To soothe my wounds I bought myself a new laptop that doesn’t crash constantly and I’m very pleased with my Lenovo T400.



In other news, I had a great winter break!

I got to visit my family in UT/NV. I ate massive amounts of Christmas cookies and home cooked meals, gaining back most of the 15 lbs that I had lost due to stress during fall quarter. Special thanks to Dee Dee & Jared for volunteering their house for most of the Christmas festivities and to Mom & Gene for all the cooking they did!


Best of all, I hardly worked and was able to sleep in a lot and relax. Just when my brain started functioning at full capacity again and I started to read a book just for fun, school started and I’m again inundated with reading and writing. My brain has returned to the mushy state that grad school puts it in.

I meant to do one of those Christmas card e-mails but never got around to it, so this will have to suffice. If you’re reading this then consider yourself loved and missed if I haven’t seen you for a while.

I do hope to share some of the things I’m learning in school and in my personal inquiries although I can’t promise much until my next break.